Dog's Life

Just finished reading “The Art of Racing in the Rain” and I have been treating my dog differently ever since I put it down. The book follows a car racer, Denny, through the eyes of his faithful dog, Enzo. Enzo has great insights to everything that happens in Denny’s complicated life. He smells sickness, senses tension, and feels trouble when it comes along.

Enzo repeatedly tells the reader that man manifests his own destiny. He sees people choose the path they will take. Enzo often compares life’s challenges to the challenges of driving in a race. Take the first corner slowly, racers often loose in the first turn but they never win then. Enzo also believes that he will come back as a human, and spends his days learning how to be a good person.

I have always secretly wondered if my dog, Baxter, can understand what is going on around him. Sometimes I look into his eyes and it seems like there is a sweetness and kindness deep down inside him. Other times he is running around barking like a crazy dog and I’m not so sure. Anyways, it is nice to have him around, and maybe someday he will help out our family in some small way. Just in case, I am going to appreciate and talk to him a little more often now. And if he comes back as a human, he is someone I would really like to know..

Freedom

the best book i have read in a while reminds me that people are people and when someone captures the thoughts and feelings of a character well, we can't help but fall in love with the most unlikely of folks. "Freedom" by Jonathan Krazen follows the lives of 3 very different people over the period of a lifetime. in these lives they have disappointment, heartbreak, and in the end understanding. it is a great gift to be able figure out where you went wrong and to try to fix it. Frazen gives his characters this gift, almost too late.

the simplicity and depth of these characters leads the reader to moments of pause and tears. Frazen asks the reader to question this idea of Freedom. in many cases the characters are hurt by their unending freedom to choose the wrong path, or freedom to do nothing at all. makes us all analyze our choices with the freedom we have been given, and the mistakes we have made along the way.

assumptions

3 active boys were running all over the train. they were throwing balls to each other and yelling and jumping everywhere.

the other passengers were clearly getting aggravated. eyes were rolling, sighs were getting louder and louder.

the boys were traveling with there father that day. he sat motionless, oblivious to all of the chaos they were causing. people were getting furious.

they started looking at one another, trying to urge someone to approach the father. the boys began running into people and spilling women's bags.

this man is the worst father they all had ever seen. surely he could at least say something to these boys.

finally a man approached the father.

"Sorry to bother you, but your children are a bit out of control," the man said.

the father looked at this stranger teary eyed and replied. "Their mother just died this morning, and I don't have it in me to yell at them."

same town

a man sat at a welcoming booth at the rest stop just outside of his town. there he handed out brochures and maps.

one day a family arrived at his stop. looking weary and sad, the father asked the man what the people of the town were like. the man at the booth asked the father how he liked the last town where he lived.

"It was awful," the father replied. "Everyone was unfriendly and rude. They were very snobby and we didn't make any friends at all."

"Well," the man said, "I am sorry to say that you will probably find the people here to be unfriendly and rude too."

the unhappy family left, with the same attitude they had when they arrived.

a few hours later another family entered the welcoming booth. they were happy and smiling when they approached the man at the booth.

"Tell us about the people in town," the father inquired.

"How did you like the people in the town where you used to live," the man asked.

"They were wonderful," replied the father. "They were so welcoming and kind and giving. We had a very hard time saying good bye to such good friends."

"Well," the man replied, "I am happy to say that you will probably find the people here to be friendly, nice and giving as well."

and the happy family left with the very same attitude they had when they arrived.

isn't that what you told me?

today something surprising happened. a teenager did exactly what he said he would do. we weren't prepared, in our family we have little experience with this kind of thing.

we all woke at noon. i asked if my boys had any plans. my youngest went to a friend's. my oldest said that a kid he knows mentioned that he might come over to hang out at 1:15.

text him and make sure he will be coming, i said. when he didn't respond we went on with our day. the big one and i went shopping for football stuff.

at 1:15 my son's phone rang. his friend was at our door wondering where we were. tell him we will be home in 15 minutes.

i thought you said he might come over, i said. well i guess we did kinda make plans, my son said. he didn't answer his text, didn't call to confirm, just came over like he said he would. another awful plot to make our family look bad.

we may learn a lot from this kid. if we don't totally corrupt him first!

no new husband

have you watched the Bachelorette lately? it is so ridiculous. every single bachelor starts to sing in the middle of a date. or play guitar, or recite a beautiful poem. has it occurred to anyone that these guys just want to be discovered by a national audience.

seriously, i can only make fun of it for so long before i need to change the channel out of complete embarrassment for everyone involved! but i have to admit i will probably watch the final episode . . .

10 reasons why I can't go running right now!

1. laundry needs to be done, always, except for once, 5 minutes in 1998.
2. kids are home and need me horribly, who am i kidding.
3. someone wants to go to lunch, can't be rude!
4. someone wants to play tennis, love tennis!
5. need to read my good book.
6. need to catch up on TIVO.
7. too hot!
8. too cold!
9. must go to target to pick up a few things!
10. that little something somewhere that hurts a little will only get worse if i run.

Really envy the runners out there who are in great shape and loving life. They can eat whatever they want whenever they want. Wish I did love running. But 4 right now i have a good book to read and the pool side is calling me!

The 6 Second Rule

Recently I was told that if someone looks you directly in the eye for more than 6 seconds they either want to have sex with you or they want to kill you. This really made me curiouos.

Test it. You will be surprised. Everyone looks away right before 6 seconds have passed.

My husband is the only one who has looked at me for the entire 6 seconds. And I'm not even sure with him, which reason fits.

Ode to the Parents

Ode to the Parents

2 parents walked slowly to the podium in the gym.

To talk about their 2 sons, gone before they would begin.

Mom and dad were still covered in sadness and grief

as they spoke of their dead children's hopes and dreams.

They fought back tears as they listed their talent,

the future so bright, and then gone with one hit.

Each kept it together as they gave the scholarships

to the friends that reminded them of what they will miss.

No way to show happiness, or force out a smile,

back to their seats to forget for a while.

Baxter?

BAXTER . . .

cute?

ugly?

good dog?

bad dog?

annoying?

lovable?

perfect in every way?

i admit that i ganged up against my husband and used his good nature and tendency towards guilt to get my way. we rescued this guy from the Animal Shelter 2 years ago. he still barks madly at anyone who comes near our house. he guards it with his life, sitting at the landing in the stairs to ensure our safety. drives us all a little mad sometimes.

but both my boys consider him their best friend and companion. and nothing can replace the way he greets you every time you come home. like you are the greatest person that ever lived! does anyone ever like you as much as your dog?

and guess who takes him to the dump every week, and let's him sleep in the bed when i am not around. who calls him to keep him company while he does the yard work. who feeds him from the table and spoils him rotten: dear old dad.

Mother's Day Picture

well, there we are, smiling and happy for Mother's Day. only a moment earlier they were frowning and complaining wishing they did not have to pose for a picture with dear old mom.

hard to believe they hugged me and cuddled with me so easily once. funny how much they loved to see me pick them out of their cribs every morning. now i am the nag, the investigator, the enemy.

they still need me though, right? they will never let on, but i need to believe that even though they are too cool to admit it, they still want to be tucked in at night, and made to hug me and smile for a picture every now and then. . .

thinking about friendships lately. reasons we like one person and not another. someone completely annoying to one person could be charming to another. high school reunion is coming. kids like someone one day and hate him the next. coworker makes you nuts, but you have to find common ground. friendships are funny.

the friends i have right now are the greatest. and i think i have always felt that way. even looking back when things don't always end up the way you hope. you were friends with someone because you found some type of common ground, and love for each other. there are some people i met and felt immediate friendship. other people i wouldn't have imagined we would have anything in common, have been my dearest friends. some people i have just never been able to connect with, even though everyone else loves them.

anyway, i just think everything is a little better, when you share it with a good friend.

lucky men

today in stop n' shop i noticed these 2 strange looking men. they were a little louder than everyone in the store and they dressed in old worn clothing. at first i thought maybe they were learning disabled, but now i'm not so sure.

these men were clearly very best friends. they were laughing and joking and enjoying each other's company immensely. they both spoke a little differently and maybe a little slower than some people might like. but they seemed to understand each other on a deeper level.

it took only minutes to realize they were like family to each other. though I am certain they were not family. they had a tenderness we rarely see between people. when one slowed down the other was right there in pace. they stopped to look at things and comment on whatever amused them.

it would have been easy to feel very sorry for these 2 men. they both may have many hardships in their lives. yet I found myself smiling as i watched them. they had found someone like them to share life. and though they both were probably disabled in a way, in the end they were very lucky to have found each other. and i think they knew it!

american idol critique

let's face it. this is not a good year for the idol. crystal or shiobhan (pronounced with a v?!!) will probably win it. unless all the girls come out and vote for that raspy voiced guy who is kind of cute or the long haired blonde boy who is really cute, but less talented.

where is the talent america. really, all those people who tried out and these are the best. frankly, my kids beg me to quit singing at least ten times a day, and i have strong illusions that i am better than most of the finalists this year!! the guy with the long hair who slid across the floor, unfortunately not to his demise!! i literally have to change the channel when he is on for many reasons:

embarrassment for him

pain for me

my husband rolling his eyes again and again and again

kids throwing food at the tv

kick him off and the show will improved somewhat. i'm thinking of not watching until the final 3, and hoping they don't kick the good ones off. still can't believe they kicked the cute blonde off, lilly i thing?

too bad cause i really like drinking my wine and analyzing everything about each god awful singer. maybe i'll stick it out for one more year . . .

pretty and plain

two girls walked to the school bus every day together. one was stunningly beautiful, with auburn wavy hair and porcelain skin. she dressed in all the most expensive styles too. the other girl was a plain girl, with strait brown hair and dull brown eyes. she dressed in simple clothes, some that her mother made for her.

the plain girl felt so lucky to have the beautiful girl as a friend. she was especially proud to walk to school everyday with her. she felt others looking at her with envy, and she enjoyed every minute of it. but she knew her friend did not feel so lucky to be walking with her. and she wondered how long it would last.

one day the beautiful girl approached the subject. she told the plain girl that she really didn't like walking with her every day. she said the plain girl needed to be funnier, have more interesting things to say, if she wanted to continue to walk with her. the plain girl was heartbroken. she went home that day and cried. she was shy by nature, and certainly could not change. then she made up her mind. she would rise to the occasion. she looked through books and found jokes, she read articles on how to win friends and influence people. that night she thought of a story that made her laugh and repeated it to herself and practiced until it was effortless.

the next morning she met the beautiful girl at her house, as usual. the pretty girl seemed bored and annoyed as usual too. her plain friend smiled her big smile and dug way down for the confidence she could find. she focused on the outcome. she wanted to be her friend more than anything.

her first story was brilliant. she picked her adjectives and adverbs perfectly. the pretty girl could picture everything in her mind. her timing could not have been better. she hesitated just enough to make the red head lean in for the punch line. by the time they reached the bus stop, the beautiful girl was laughing so hard she could barely breath. she was holding onto every word the plain girl said. and the strangest thing happened. the other people wanted to be around the plain girl. they gathered around and joined in the audience, for each story she told. the plain girl had never felt so loved in her entire life.

from that day on the plain girl spent hours and hours learning the art of conversation, the way to tell the perfect joke, and perfected every story she knew. all the beautiful people in the school gravitated to her, and longed to be her friend. she became the most popular girl in school. but she continued to walk with the beautiful auburn haired girl to the bus stop every day. and throughout her continued success in school and in life, she always gave her first beautiful friend credit. for making her become an interesting person.

first blog

Always I have struggled with living in the moment and thinking in the moment. Wherever I am, I may be busy planning my afternoon errands, making a list of people I need to call, or even replaying a conversation I had that morning. I have wasted lots of time, living in the future or the past.

So I have decided to really focus my life on the right now! When my kids talk to me, I want to look in their eyes and hear every word, and feel every feeling they have to give. When I am playing tennis or talking to my friends, I hope to be engaged in exactly what they are saying to me. When my husband tells me his hopes and dreams, I don't want to hear myself asking him to repeat himself, because I was thinking about something else.

Much has been written on the subject, and I have eaten it up. For days I have stayed in the moment, and then somehow I drift back into old habits. So 4right now, I am going to be here in the present, doing what I love to do.